On Roads And Trust

Here we go. Again.

I couldn’t sleep
Dreaming of you
Even if I told myself
I never would
And in the morning you didn’t wake me
With a call or a tap on my door
There was a message on my phone
‚Good morning, I’m almost home‘
It was early yet, you made such good time
But you didn’t stop at my street

It should not bother me and yet it does
How tonight you waited at roadside
Instead in the warmth of my arms
How you went then right past
The highway exit leading to me
And your vague excuse of
„I thought you would be asleep“

I will say nothing of this to you
Even if in the quiet of my mind
I will grieve for a while
But not for you, never for you
We shared a road but little less
And the road didn’t lead you to me
I will grieve for the small seed of trust
That I nurtured despite what was wise
That you ran over right with the wheels of your truck

‚You could have anyone‘, you said
In hope that I’d say ‚I chose you‘
And for a while it was your headlights
That I waited for to banish my gloom
But not anymore, for it’s in the little things
Where the devil hides. The tiny cracks in concrete
Of „would you“s and „could have“s and „tomorrow maybe“s
Where the bare gritty truth’s shining through

So what’s the worth of your sweet words of love
If you don’t know what you want
And where’s the proof of your promises
If you keep missing my turn?
I’m not the one to wait for you, driver
And my home will now never be yours
I have my own roads to conquer now
And turns of my own to choose.